Why have I chosen the complicated road? I have always asked myself this. Why do some people have it "harder" than others? I am not talking about financially, but rather emotionally. Why is the path of the road less traveled more appealing even if we know there is potential for pain and disappointment? It has taken me some time to find my own answer to this question. For me, it's because complicated is more interesting. It's worth embarking on a journey with a complicated person because it helps us grow. A complicated person is complex for a reason and it's usually because they have experienced life. I have always been drawn to people (romantically and platonically) who have been through some shit. There is always more to talk about, more to uncover. I like to watch their minds navigate through their past and into their present. I value their opinions and beliefs and the best part is that they are not afraid to question mine. These people have explored many pathways of emotions. They understand and can relate on a higher level and oftentimes they possess a significant amount of empathy. When someone has been through a lot in their life, they tend to have great compassion and elements of healing powers.
In our heart, we know when something might not be the best for us. We choose this path anyway because we know there is the potential to gain something so incredibly valuable, or grow from the experience. It's an extraordinary feat when you naturally connect with someone who is either selective about who they let in their life or has a harder time making deep connections due to what life has brought them. There have been many times when I have embarked on a relationship or friendship knowing that it might not end well. I move forth anyway because I have a feeling that this person is worth getting to know. I know that we have something to offer each other and that even if we don't end up in each other's lives forever, we were better for knowing one another.
I have always chosen complicated. Every single male that I have dated has had some type of interesting past - this doesn't always mean negative or destructive. I have tired to find interest in someone who has lived a pretty straight and narrow life, but have found that I can never quite "go there" with him or her. This could be a major fault in my character, but it's who I am. It's not that I gravitated towards "the bad boy," but rather someone that can deeply understand my likes, dislikes, passions and anxieties. Complicated is deep, sparkly, intense, magical and most importantly, real.
I am not interested in your paycheck. I am not impressed by your college education. I am interested in your desire to live a life of adventure. I want you to want to explore the world with me. I am drawn to your willingness to learn and grow and in turn, be mindful. I admire that you value education but realize that it can come from many places. I realize you will need to do things in order to keep your spirit alive and you should go forth, however you want to do that.
Complicated can come in many forms and from many walks of life. Complicated isn't just the tortured angry artist whose parents got divorced when he was a kid. Complicated can be the successful lawyer who came from a nuclear family and just sees the world differently.
Complicated is complicated. Complicated is beautiful.