My Plan for 30

Today I turn 30 and I have never had a plan for my life. No roadmap or milestones to check off. There is no notebook from childhood that lists out all the things I want to happen by age X. In reading my childhood diaries, they consist mostly of poems, stories about friends and wanting to be understood, less about to-do’s (besides being a rock star of course). Those who know me well might find the lack of life planning to be surprising, but really, I have taken it day by day.

Leading up to today, I have received the typical questions like, how do you feel? Have you accomplished all that you wanted to by 30? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? All of these questions make me think about how we define ourselves. They lead to the obvious and predictable. Questions about self-worth, relationships, kids, marriage and money. Technically, and on paper, I am a single female homeowner living in San Francisco with my childhood best friend of 20 years. I have a job that I love, and while all these things used to define me, they no longer do. All of the things I previously listed could and would absolutely make a person happy (that’s a pretty nice life!), but I have learned that this sort of happiness is temporary unless you are 100% with yourself. Comfortable with who you are.

Looking back, if I were to pick a goal for 30 it would be simple, to be happy. Happy with who I am, happy with what I have to offer those around me, and happy in my own skin. Of course I have days where I question my appearance. And more often than not I have days where I wonder if I have done a good enough job becoming the person that I am today. Do I treat my friends and family well? Do I make those around me feel special? Do I spend enough one on one time with the people close to me who require it? It’s not easy becoming yourself. So far, is has been the toughest job life has handed me.

So, here I am on my 30th Birthday. Still no plan, no roadmap, no milestones to check off (except a number), but I am happy. Happy with all the things I would have told my 20-year-old self to have made a goal for the day I turn 30. Now, this post doesn't mean I was never happy before today, of course I was, but I’ve learned that no plan is the best plan and that falling is the only way to rise. 

Do you recall the popular Marlin Monroe quote all girls repeated over and over to themselves after their first heartbreak?

“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

I have my own little spin off and it goes....

“If I can’t handle me at my worst, I wouldn’t know what it’s like to feel my best.”

So that’s what I am taking away today, on the day of my 30th. Happiness, check. After all, things can appear perfect on paper, but what’s off paper is what matters, because off paper, I am so much more.

Thanks for listening :)


MØ - "Final Song" - An ode to your musical soul mates!

THIS little lady has been blowing it out of the water since she came on the scene. My dear friend and music video director extraordinaire Frank Door of "We Will Shoot You" took me to see her a few years ago at Rickshaw Stop in SF and I have been in love ever since. Her energy and stage presence is insane and completely comes through in her music. She brings a unique sound to every song she touches. MØ doesn't over complicate things, or try to be something she is not. A girl I can get behind!

Her most recent jam is called "Final Song," and it's quite beautiful. We all have those nights where we just do NOT want the music to stop, the energy around us is magical, and all seems right with the world. 

Please, won’t you wait?
Won’t you stay...?
(At least until the sun goes down)
When you’re gone, I lose faith
I lose everything I have found
Heart strings, violins
That’s what I hear when you’re by my side
Yeah, that’s what I hear when you’re by my side!

I surround myself with music lovers, so this verse completely resonates with me. Whether it be the beach or the club, we never want the music to end but would prefer to exist in a bubble of sound and dance. It's our comfort zone. 

But when you’re gone the music goes
I lose my rhythm, lose my soul
So hear me out before you say the night is over
I want you to know that we gotta, gotta carry on
So don’t let this be our final song

I lose my rhythm, LOSE MY SOUL! Ahhh such a real feeling. Shout out to my musical soul mates! I loose my rhythm when you aren't around. Take a listen to this fun, dancey and trop house inspired song. It's sure to make your day and remind you to appreciate your musical soul mates. 

You can listen to other music I enjoy here: 

Thank you for listening! 



Christine and the Queens

Today I discovered an artist by the name of Christine and the Queens. She is a French singer / songwriter who truly has a sound of her own. Her voice is beautifully haunting, deep and rich, yet crisp. She sings in English and French and oftentimes uses both languages in a single song. She is divine, you must listen! 

My top fav songs are as follows:

  • Tilted 
  • iT
  • No Harm Is Done (feat. Tunji leg)
  • Narcissus Is Back 

Enjoy, and thank you for listening! 


To the woman in my life...

It's International Women's Day, so here's a little something for the women in my life who have supported me and stood by my side, no matter what:

Thank you for your endless love

For believing in me

For pushing me to be better

To do better 

For your notes of encouragement when I needed it the most

In moments where I feel weak, thank you for reminding me I am strong

For understanding who I am

Why I feel the way I feel

And for not dismissing the emotions that live within me

Thank you for never labeling me crazy but understanding I am human 

For calling me out when I am settling

And helping me realize that I should never and will never...settle

Heres to understanding I am complicated, but in a good way :) 

And to supporting my decisions even if they don't serve me well

For trusting that I will learn from my mistakes

And for holding my hand as long as it needs holding 

But letting go when it's time for me to learn

For telling me I'm wrong.....with your eyes 

And expecting more of me because you know what I can accomplish

Thank you for rubbing my back to help me fall asleep

And for always taking my calls in the middle of the night 

For saying I look beautiful when my insides are torn apart 

And for being by my side when it all comes falling down

For taking me to the ocean when my head needs clearing

Or putting me in the middle of music just to drown it all out

We will forever be connected by this thing called woman

We will forever be. 



Be fearless, even if it scares you. Be open to new experiences, even if if makes you nervous for that fear will melt away and you will see the world in a new light. New experiences make us into the people we are meant to be. Some experiences are beautiful, some are beautifully painful, but all build up a resilience within us that prepare us for what's next. 

The bright side of things.....

I have a theory......

It's that every man who ever broke up with me didn't want me to spend my life for them.

But rather, for myself...

They cared, they saw me for who I was, for who I am, and that is endless.... (I should make it clear that my optimism is based off what I would hope a human would feel after being with me)

I can give forever.




I choose to see my faults and a fault in myself is being too much.

There was one. He knew how much I loved him. I treasured and kept him close to my heart...

And even when I should have hate, I still love him, so much....whole hardheartedly

Nothing will ever replace what I know we had, what I know we were...

I have a theory that the pain brought to me is really just a room full of the men I have loved, laughing going "we are doing this because we know she is strong and she will prevail."

That is my hope, that is my wish.

I have a theory that I am one of those people who is meant to endure all of the feelings. All of them, always.

But to the one I really loved, I hope you know. That was real. It meant everything to me.

It still does.

I have grown, I have moved on, but I just wanted the simple things with you.

I just wanted you.

There was never anything more that I wanted.


5 reasons why you need to listen to Anderson Paak, RIGHT NOW!

1.) Groovy AF. Lyrics that make me happy, laugh and sometimes a tad uncomfortable (in that good uncomfortable sort of way if you know what I mean). 

2.) This isn't his first rodeo. Yes, he is just now being exposed to the masses, but he has been making and producing music since he was a kid in his bedroom - and released his first album in 2012. 

3.) Prior to being a successful working musician, Paak was working at a marijuana farm in Santa Barbara. He was let go without warning, becoming homeless together with his wife and infant son. Damn! (Wikipedia) 

4.) Paak performed on six songs on Dr. Dre's 2015 album Compton and two on The Game's The Documentary 2. If Dre likes him, he must be good. Am I convincing you yet? 

5.) He embodies rock n' roll, funk, rnb, hip-hop and all the genres that heavily influenced music today. I know he is "newer" but he sounds like a blast from the past. 

My favorite songs of his are as follows:

From the album Malibu: "Room In Here," & "Am I Wrong." 

From the album Venice: "Off The Ground." 

From NxWorries and Anderson Paak: "Link Up." 

Thank you for listening and enjoy this dude! 


Why I Will Choose Coachella Over EDC, All Of The Time, Every time.

I know I am going to get a lot of shit for this post and frankly. I don’t care. I know that I have become a real writer because it’s 3am on a Tuesday and I can’t sleep because I am so fired about about the music that I love. My best friend is asleep in the other room and I so badly want to wake her up and tell her my thoughts. She is my outlet. (The best part about her is that she wouldn’t even be mad if I woke her up to express all that I am feeling. That’s how fucking cool she is.) Instead I will write. 

I know that I don’t have to choose, but I prefer to. It’s like choosing The Rolling Stones over The Beatles. I know I don’t have to, but I do. BTW I choose The Rolling Stones every time. I am a product of my mother. I am extreme like that. The funny thing is, I have immense amounts of respect for Pasquale Rotella (and The Beatles). I really fucking like the guy. I think he’s a badass. I think he’s a positive force in this world. Him and I would be friends, if he would have me that is (I am sure he has enough friends, but hypotetically). I am just not drawn to EDC. I know the shit I’m going to get for this because I have never been. I know EDC is fun loving and beautiful, but no part of me has ever wanted to attend, despite it all. I don’t like the pavement. I don’t like the complexity of it and I am so far removed from the whole candy kid scene. I embrace PLUR but I don’t have to prove it. Maybe I don’t like what it has become? I have been a raver for a long time, but I don’t scream it from the roof tops. I have never worn clothing that shows off my love for EDM. I am not against it (yeah I wear some off the wall stuff sometimes), but furies and plastic candy are not for me. To me, EDM should not resemble a click, and that is what is has become in so many ways. It makes me sad to be quite honest. The whole scene now begs the question “what group are you apart of?”

That is and will never be what music is about. I will tell you that now. Whatever god is above DIDN’T make music so we could sub divide. Music was created so that we could connect to people. EDM and all of the genres that come with it are what's inside of you. The music, it’s what brings us together. Not our matching outfits. I likely look like the chick who loves punk rock, and while I do, I am a raver. 

I am one of the biggest music lovers you will ever meet, and I have chosen to not go to EDC. Also, I love EDM. I love deep house. I love breakbeat. I love ambient. I love...well if you want to see a list of what I love, find it here. The problem with EDC is, I find it to be an attraction for those who make it a checklist, year after year. I feel this way because many people that I know, who attend, complain to me (individially) about how they loose each other and no one really actually saw or listened to any artists they like. From what I hear, people are consistently chasing their “groups” around in order to “be together” but no one is actually listening to the music. It is a figment of their imaginiation. Coachella. Grass. Nature. Lot's of room for activities. 

I know I am generalizing and many people from the industry go to see the artists they love…..but EDC is, and will never be Coachella. Why? Coachella is arguablly the premiere place to see any and every artist give their ALL. It's for the industry. It's not just for the fans and for this, the sound and set design is off the fucking chain. The truth is, most people don’t understand the art of sound. 

I know the production is incredible at EDC. And, I know that so many people dedicate their life to putting on one of the best shows ever. I bow down to this. I know all of this, but it's not for me. Please don’t get mad at me for expressing my thoughts. I just think these two events get compared all the time. Maybe that’s the point I am making. I am clearly being that person comparing but only because I have been forced to. The truth is, they are incredibly different and that might be why I haven’t attended EDC.

I get a lot of shit for saying Kanye West’s 2011 Show is one of THE BEST I have ever seen because 1. A lot of my friends have only seen him at Outside Lands (he literally rapped to a track, he clearly didn't want to be there, it was horrible, the sound at OSL is pretty awful all around) and 2. Because most people don’t understand the art of production. Production is REAL. That shit is an art and most people can't comprehend how much time it takes to put on a show. That shit is not just thrown together. Kanyes show at Coachella 2011 is one of the best, if not the best performance I have ever seen in my life (but let's be real I have seen more music than most people will ever see in their lifetime. That is my ONE bragging right here). Also, I love Kanye and I happen to think he’s a really fucking good dude. I think what most people are confused about is his love for music, the art, and the fact that he wants to preserve it. He is the definition of passionate. If you look up passionate in le dictionary, homies face is right there. Trust. I defend Kanye like most people defend their religion. I think he deserves respect, and most people don’t give it to him (I know, you all think he's an arrogant jerk but don't get it twisted, he's just passionate). He has written music history, and will continue to. If you don’t know what I am talking about, do your research. Google it. He is proof why Coachella is and will continue to be the best. 

Before I pour my heart out here I ask that if you ever meet me, we talk about this in person. I am much better in person. All I am going to say is, there is a magic about Coachella I know EDC will never have. It's old school. Why do you think there is so much mystique around Daft being there, every, single, fucking, year? Coachella is for the people who live and breathe music. EDC is as well, but it’s different. Almost unexplainable. I really can’t do anything to prove my point. All I know is my intuition is usually correct. 

Coachella. It’s in the desert surrounded be the most beautiful mountains anyone will ever see. I am sure EDC has it’s magic, I know it does, but it will never be Coachella. Let’s be real, it's at a speedway. That alone is enough to understand where I am coming from. I am sure if I was sitting in a room with Pasquale he would be able to level with me about how Coachella made music MUSIC again when it was so badly begging for a reason to be documented. It paved the way for festivals like EDC. I have been so hesitant to write this because I don’t want to bash EDC, rather discuss things that I am feeling. 

I don’t even know if I made a real point. I don’t think that was even my intention. I do know that I am passionate about this place that I call home, once a year every year. Just like people call the electric sky, home, I call the polo fields….home. I was not paid to write this. I merely woke up at 3am because something in me wanted to talk about Coachella and Kanye West. All I have to say is, first world problems. 

Goodnight and thanks for listening. 


My journey to Tulum, Mexico.

A few months ago I attended Treasure Island Music Festival. On the island I met some new friends and we decided (while gushing over our love for adventure) to go to Tulum, Mexico.....along with my best friend Ellen. Why? To visit the beaches, BPM Music Festival and our mutual friend who had moved there recently. It was such a cool feeling knowing I was going to travel with new people to a foreign country. We rented an Airbnb in the heart of Tulum city. It was a great rental complete with a heart shaped pool and hammocks. Quite perfect for us.

Day 1 consisted of landing, tequila in the van ride over (Tulum is about 2 hours from the Cancun Airport) and dancing in the jungle to a local SF artist, Rachel Torro. The party was complete with twinkly lights, face painting and some amazing hoopers. People were dressed in colorful bohemian outfits. The weather was perfect, not too hot, not too cold. See image below to get a feel for the magic that is Tulum nightlife.

The next day we visited Playa Paraíso and to say it was breathtaking would be an understatement. I had to pinch myself as everything was that of my dreams. The people of Tulum are incredibly friendly and want everyone around them to have the best time possible. We laid under this palm tree for hours....

And spent the day lounging. As you can see, I was having a terrible time :)

Instead of waiting in line to see the ruins, we took a sunset cruise to the edge of the rocks where you could see them, jumped in the water, and snorkeled. Our boat was filled with people mostly from San Francisco who I had met in passing many times at music events....but it was nice to spend quality time with them in a foreign place. I know we all have a long future of friendship ahead of us.


Tulum is known for their healthy food offerings and yoga retreats. One of our favorite stops on the trip that we frequented was called Burrito Amor. One morning I had three juices. Green Juice, Watermelon and Mint Grapefruit. Coconut water was always in the mix :)

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Beers y frutas in the morning were a necessity!

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Vegan cactus salad, yummmm.

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A highlight of the trip was spending quality time with my best friend of 15 years, Ellen. We live together but are always so busy that sometimes I feel like we don't 1:1 time together. It was so wonderful hanging out with her all over Tulum. Trips always bond us. Here we are on our friends rooftop. Not too shabby!

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Lastly, and one of the main reasons we came to Tulum was to attend the Pink Mammoth party at Villa Pescadores. Pink Mammoth is an SF party, music and art crew that puts on some of the most incredible events. For me, it was especially cool seeing my dear friend Britney Williams (founder of Culture Vulture and veteran promoter in SF) husband Worthy of Dirty Bird DJ for two hours during sunset. The music at the party was incredible. You could hear the bass through the sand, so you know it was loud!


I want to thank my friends for taking this trip with me. It reminded me how beautiful life is and how lucky I am to be surrounded by such creative free spirits. I can't wait to travel with this group again and explore all that the world has to offer. The time together was truly magical.

Thank you for listening and may you always travel with an open heart!



Top 11 Things I Learned in 2015

2015 is coming to a wrap, so I thought I would share some things I learned over the year. 2015 has been a year of major growth for me, more than any other year in the past. I fell deeply in love with someone in a way I have never been in love before, moved in a new home, lost the person with what seemed to me to be….without notice, suffered pain and heartbreak that put me in a fog for months and months, came out of the fog, became closer with my best friends, made new lifelong friends, lost some, bonded with my mom, accepted death, witnessed life, purchased art for the first time, traveled some incredible places, saw a ton of mind-blowing shows, started a blog, but most importantly….got to know myself. Here are the top 11 things - in no particular order - I learned this year. Why 11? Read here. 

1. Your parents are human.

And, just like you, they are still trying to figure it out. I know this "lesson" is posted often, but it's so very true. Each New Year bring new emotions to navigate through, problems to solve and hurdles to jump. Age makes you wiser, it doesn't make you bulletproof. So go ahead and hug your parental humans.

2. Drink good wine....and tequila. 

I have always known this, but now I live by it. Bad wine makes you sick. Notice how I didn't say "drink expensive wine." Good wine doesn't have to be expensive, it has to be good. Oh and also, tequila is amazing :)

3. Spend quality, uncomfortable time with yourself. 

Go to a concert alone, go to the beach alone. Experience experiences alone. I am not telling you to abandon your friends (don't you dare do that!), but rather spend quality time with yourself. After my breakup I felt like I needed to distance myself from what was comfortable in order to really feel what I was going through. It feels really good to get to know yourself. It feels really great to be happy on your own, without any outside influence. Oftentimes our happiness is reliant on the people around us, but what if you could be happy with

4. Take a chance on someone. 

People come in and out of your life to teach you things. People come in and out of your life for a reason. Some stay, some go, but all usually serve a purpose. Talk to someone you wouldn't normally talk to. Get to know a stranger. Take a chance on that guy or girl you have been wanting to talk to. You truly never know. This year I was surprised by a few people I never thought I would connect with. Some were right there in front of me the whole time, some completely new. The more open you are, the more room you allow for people who choose to be in your life. 

5. The promise of forever is just a promise, not definite. 

This is a tough one. We all want to trust. We all want to believe in forever but the truth is, all we have is now. This very day. Try not to dwell on the future or what's to come. Don't plan too much, because life will put a wrench in those plans and you will be dissapointed. Enjoy now. You can't predict feelings. Someone might see forever with you one day and not the next. Love them now. Your job might say you are irreplaceable then let you go a month later. Do you best now. You are all you have and the promises you make to yourself can be forever. 

6. You don't have to be friends with everyone. 

My mom and best friend El helped me to learn this one. I have always been a social butterfly and while I can clearly define my best friends, my sisters and brothers, my tribe, I have always surrounded myself with lot's of people. This year I struggled with some people who were not serving me well. No matter how hard I tired to explain myself, I felt dismissed and misunderstood. I so badly wanted to be close with them but in the end, I had to let go. This doesn't mean I have hate for these people, it just means no expectations. I can be around them, sure, it will just never be what I had hoped. There are a few things I need from a person in order to go deep with them, in order to trust them....and I know that now. This is all part of me getting to know myself. Hold on to the people who understand you. 

7. Spend quality 1:1 time with the people you love.

Say I love you, even if it scares you. Go on friend dates. Buy each other little gifts, write each other poems. Now more than ever I know how important it is to spend quality 1:1 time with the people you love and care about. You really get to know someone when it's just you and them. In the world of social media we are quickly loosing the meaning of quality time. Social networks have made it so easy to feel like you know someone through their photos, comments and messages. Coming from a social media addict I am here to tell you, you don't. You don't know them if that is the only way you communicate with them. You only know someone well when you spend time with them, in the flesh. This year I spent a few quality days with someone I have "known" for years but not until we spent 1:1 time together did I really feel like I knew him. It was amazing. 

8. Boundaries. 

You don't have to be ok with everything. You don't have to accept everything. You don't have to agree with everything. I see so many people going with the flow in order to appear "chill" and "accepting." If that works for you, great. If it makes you uneasy, don't be afraid (with mindfulness) to say how you feel, to walk away or to simply not accept. I found myself playing the role of the "I am a super chill girl" earlier this year and really felt like I was loosing my sense of self. I was loosing my beliefs and forgetting where I came from. Set your own boundaries and don't be afraid to stick to them. Doing this has made me a stronger more respectable person. 

9. Be present. 

A dear friend of mine requested that I be more present when I am around him. Of course, this was shocking and a little hard to hear, but something I NEEDED to hear. I always saw myself as someone who is consistantly engaged, but I was wrong. Being present is something I am still working on all of the time, but I plan to make "being present" a part of me for the rest of my life. Whatever "being more present" means to you, do it. You will see things you never saw, hear things you never heard and feel things you never felt.  

10. Loyalty means something different to everyone. 

I pride myself on my ability to be extremely loyal. I am loyal to a fault. So is my tribe. Along with not having to be friends with everyone, I had to realize that loyalty means something different to everyone. This BOGGLED MY MIND. I didn't understand that someone could see actions of loyalty completely different than me. The truth is, most people aren't loyal, they just want to be because they know it's usually seen as a good quality. Be careful with loyalty. Loyalty takes time, investment and proof. 

11. Accept yourself, even if others don't. 

You will meet many people in your life that tell you they totally love your wacky ways OR straight and narrow lifestyle......whatever it may be. What matters is that you accept yourself for who you are, weird and all. I spent the end of 2015 truly getting to know the ins and outs of myself and while I am FAR from done with this task (that will be the day I die) I know that there will always be people out there ready to kill my vibe. Enjoy you, accept you, love you, even if other's don't. 

Those are the top 11 things I have learned this year! I hope that everyone has a safe and beautiful New Years. If you had a tough year, know that there is so much more life to live and we are in charge of our own destiny. Allow people in your life who build you up and make you shine a little brighter. Life brings us too many challenges to be hard on each other so let's go into 2016 with a smile and respect for those around us. And with that, I will leave you with this beautiful song. Thank you for listening :)


Why I choose complicated...

Why have I chosen the complicated road? I have always asked myself this. Why do some people have it "harder" than others? I am not talking about financially, but rather emotionally. Why is the path of the road less traveled more appealing even if we know there is potential for pain and disappointment? It has taken me some time to find my own answer to this question. For me, it's because complicated is more interesting. It's worth embarking on a journey with a complicated person because it helps us grow. A complicated person is complex for a reason and it's usually because they have experienced life. I have always been drawn to people (romantically and platonically) who have been through some shit. There is always more to talk about, more to uncover. I like to watch their minds navigate through their past and into their present. I value their opinions and beliefs and the best part is that they are not afraid to question mine. These people have explored many pathways of emotions. They understand and can relate on a higher level and oftentimes they possess a significant amount of empathy. When someone has been through a lot in their life, they tend to have great compassion and elements of healing powers.

In our heart, we know when something might not be the best for us. We choose this path anyway because we know there is the potential to gain something so incredibly valuable, or grow from the experience. It's an extraordinary feat when you naturally connect with someone who is either selective about who they let in their life or has a harder time making deep connections due to what life has brought them. There have been many times when I have embarked on a relationship or friendship knowing that it might not end well. I move forth anyway because I have a feeling that this person is worth getting to know. I know that we have something to offer each other and that even if we don't end up in each other's lives forever, we were better for knowing one another. 

I have always chosen complicated. Every single male that I have dated has had some type of interesting past - this doesn't always mean negative or destructive. I have tired to find interest in someone who has lived a pretty straight and narrow life, but have found that I can never quite "go there" with him or her. This could be a major fault in my character, but it's who I am. It's not that I gravitated towards "the bad boy," but rather someone that can deeply understand my likes, dislikes, passions and anxieties. Complicated is deep, sparkly, intense, magical and most importantly, real. 

I am not interested in your paycheck. I am not impressed by your college education. I am interested in your desire to live a life of adventure. I want you to want to explore the world with me. I am drawn to your willingness to learn and grow and in turn, be mindful. I admire that you value education but realize that it can come from many places. I realize you will need to do things in order to keep your spirit alive and you should go forth, however you want to do that.

Complicated can come in many forms and from many walks of life. Complicated isn't just the tortured angry artist whose parents got divorced when he was a kid. Complicated can be the successful lawyer who came from a nuclear family and just sees the world differently.

Complicated is complicated. Complicated is beautiful. 

To understand you...

I had to feel this to understand you

I know this because you have gone through it to

Broken does not mean forever

I know that time will fill this blank space


I had to see color in order to understand you 

This isn’t the way I imagined it would go

My voice it’s silenced by my past life

Your begging me to go with the flow 


I had to build myself up in order to understand you 

I make an effort to show you this is real

Giving up has never been a part of the plan

Even though my hearts hidden with my personal fear


I had to be let go in order to understand you

It was never my place anyway 

Miles to go and many people to meet 

I can’t have the world fall at my feet


I had to be shaken up to understand you 

A feeling I am grabbing and trying to push away

Curiosity of what it feels like to live detached 

I know my actions may be enigmatic 


I will make moves to understand you

Get inside and really feel you

If you will let me, I want to get to you 

Just give me time to believe you 


This is my tribe...

We are the ones who don't give up. It's easy to turn a blind eye to pain and perseverance. A group of ninjas who take a knife to life. We don't sit back and watch it happen. We make it happen. The do'ers. The hammers, not nails. The lovers but the right and wrong'ers. We take a stand. We are never on both sides, never in the middle. There is no middle. Our brains do not work that way. How do you feel? What do you think? What does your heart tell you? Can you disconnect your mind and your heart? It's a tough thing to do but when you will uncover the direction of where the universe is telling you to go. You will find your true friends. Your tribe. Your chosen family.

We are opinionated, but with reason. Opinionated, due to experience. If you ask us what we think, an answer will be told. There is no "ummm" there is no "maybe" there is no "sure." This lack of vagueness does not exist. When you have us, we are present. We are all there. We are all in. Extremists to some extent. If a promise is made, it will be fulfilled. Our lives have been scattered with empty promises so we have vowed to never expose one another to such a thing. We stop the pattern, we break the trend. Honesty over white lies. If it hurts, we can take it as it only comes with learning and understanding. We offer feedback. We are not afraid to disagree with one another.

Understanding is key. We do not abandon, we do not leave each other to feel misunderstood. We do stick by. We know that feeling misunderstood is like being lost in a dark forest with no end in sight. We take the time to understand...and this takes time. Dedication, investment, commitment. If we fight, it's out of love and passion for each other. There is never a will to hurt, we don't have that in our bones.

We hold hands, we hug, we cuddle, we lie in bed all day and laugh...regardless of gender, just friends.....we are close. We will never be too old for a sleepovers. We will be 90 and planning our 48 hours of togetherness weekends. Our future families will grow up together and we will grow old together. Debauchery. This will never change with age, nor will our will to have fun. With life, people can become hard. We will do our best to keep each other believing in childhood dreams. Dancing, laughing, singing. This is what we do best. Music is in our bones. Music runs through all of us and it's what keeps us connected. Ahhhhh music. Conversations about sounds, lyrics, and the way the song makes us feel. Endless discussions. So many ways to interpret. Night seekers, believers, realists. Risk takers. We are captured by the lights.

So much of life is lived on the edge. Pushing each other to grow, explore, and to be better people. To not just take, but to give. With so much outside influence, we must remember who we are. If this sounds obnoxious, it's not meant to, it's just who we are. Many of us are on decades of friendship, some only a few months, but all strong and all meaningful in their own way. Each person, a special bond or connection, all different from the other. Present....when days are not bright, when there is nothing to give, when the world feels like a heavy weight. We are there to lift the weight and encourage each other that life is beautiful. Life is meaningful and that we are worth it. When we meet another one of us, we know. It's as if a light appears and the world is telling us to not let go.

This is my tribe.

The Story of Ronnie Cakes Weiss

Hello Humans,

My name is Ronnie Cakes Weiss. I was raised in Woodside, CA. I have two moms, a dad, a brother and a sister. My brother Shane specifically picked me out of the litter I was born into. Well, he thinks he picked me but I really picked him :) As soon as I saw him sit down to play with all the newborn puppies, I knew I had to be the first one in his lap. I wanted him to know that I would dedicate my life to being his best friend. My brothers and sisters were all so loving that I was worried he might pick one of them, but luckily he loved me as much as I loved him, and that is where my story begins. 

I was born into a family that already had an adult chocolate lab named Mowgli. He was named after the movie "The Jungle Book." At first, I wasn't sure if he liked me as he was used to being the man of the house, but I quickly won him over and we became best friends. Mowgli taught me how to be a good puppy. I always loved the smell of shoes and socks, but he taught me that tearing up human clothes made the humans upset. Mowgli was very wise. I looked up to him. That's us in the Santa hats. I was still very young when he disappeared. I wasn't quite sure why, until now.

My family noticed I didn't like to be alone. I would get a little sad when they would leave for work or school. My brother and sister had to move away for college and that is when Lester came into my life. Lester was a cream colored cocker spaniel, very soft like velvet. One of my moms, Carol Ann, brought him to me. I was SO excited to have a brother again. Lester and I enjoyed running through the yard chasing birds, squirrels and deer. If we ever ran into trouble, I would stand up for my brother as I was bigger than him. He might have been wiser, being my older brother and all, but I was bigger :) Lester and I really liked treats, Christmas time and the NFL football team, the Raiders! Here are some pictures of me and my brother Lester! 

Lester was very special to me and my family. His brother Alex disappeared as well, so we could relate to each other. Then, one day....Lester was gone. I didn't understand how he could leave us, now I do...

I had really cool moms. One was named Kathy and one Carol Ann, but I called them mom. They were both very special to me in their own ways. One thing they had in common is that they LOVED to dress me up. See my Raiders gear above, Carol Ann got me and Lester that outfit. My dad Bunny and brother Shane love the Raiders, and she knew me and Lester would want to make them happy by wearing jerseys. My other mom Kathy dressed me in the wackiest of hats, scarves and wigs. She used to do this to my brother Mowgli, and I knew I would be her next target. I was a good boy and stood still for pictures. I just wanted to make my mom Kathy happy and I liked dressing up more than I let off to her :) I actually think I look pretty cool in the Giants hat.

If you don't mind, I would like to talk a little more about my brother Shane. He was the COOLEST brother a dog could ask for. We have had so many special moments together. Even when Shane was working, he would make sure that I felt loved. We cuddled all the time, there was never a dull moment. You see, I have watched Shane grow up from a little boy into a man. I stood by his side through some hard times and was always there to celebrate the good. There were many things to celebrate...birthdays, graduations, job promotions and recently, him purchasing his first house. Here are some photos of me and my brother. 

Life was good, no.... it was great. My mom Kathy took me everywhere with her.

I was her best bud and her mine. That will never change.  

My favorite place was the beach. I could play for hours on end. The smell of the ocean....the sand in my fur. I LOVED to swim. My mom Kathy and I have a special connection to the ocean. It's where we went to think, it's where we went to play, it's the place that made us realize how lucky we were to have each other. 

After playing, mom and I would lay by the fire.

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Sometimes the deck....

Besides the beach, I spent a lot of time in the forest and the garden. Growing up in Woodside was doggie heaven. The smells, the sounds....oh the many animals and birds! 

Woodside is a magical place. I will miss it. 

I was loved by many....

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My mom Carol Ann and my dad Bunny even had a statue made of me and my brother Lester. It's in their garden. 


At age 12, I started to feel a little different, not myself. My parents and siblings did their best to make sure I had the greatest care in the world but as hard as I tired to feel better, I felt tired and weak. Some days were good, others, not so good. Here is me with my brother and sister a few weeks ago. 

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I now understand where my dog siblings and friends are. In fact, I saw them all a few days ago. Everyone is happy up here. There are endless amounts of treats. The beaches are beautiful and the forest is like nothing you have never seen before. The best part? No one gets sick and no one is ever in pain. The hardest part about second life is not being physically with those on earth, but I am here to tell you that I am watching over you all. Everyone who is up here is watching over someone they love. No one should worry. We all live on. 



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When you walk into the room you change my mood its AUTOMATIC...

Is this song a JOKE?! Deep beats, sax, heavy piano, lady singer, man singer, middle eastern influence. I have heard a few Zhu songs (Faded?!!?!?) but just stumbled across this one on way my way to Las Vegas. At minute mark 2:42 I about fainted. This song is INCREDIBLE and so diverse. I admire how the song starts off dancey and slows the f down....

I don’t think you know
You open up my eyes, I’m alive
I’m moving to your rhythm and your vibe
I love it when the night, is started

Ahhhh we have all been here. That someone that can completely change your vibe. It's powerful, and when you meet someone like this, try to understand why they effect you this way, it will teach you a lot about yourself. It's true, the way someone effects us, negatively or positively can truly help us understand ourselves. This is something I have recently started embracing. It can be hard and a little revealing, even to yourself, but it's worth exploring.

I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do. And when the saxophone hits, get your dance on. You can thank me later. Thanks for listening :)



The mind, the music, the sun
Confidence, dance, complex
A mix of every influence that's touched
A beautiful map of meaningless everything

From head to toe, no one knows
A glass wall is clearly built
To see the outside is not the in
To break the glass is where one wins

Distance between what you truly desire
Space that fills the now for miles
Replace one with another, another
What's left is half filled memories

Love everything, love nothing at all
Store it all away somewhere
Weeding them out one by one
All that's left is one

Treasure Island Music Festival

This weekend I attended my favorite festival of all the festivals that exist, Treasure Island Music festival in San Francisco, CA. FESTIVAL FESTIVAL FESTIVAL. This event is done SO RIGHT. With your ticket comes a shuttle pass to the island. I really admire that the creators of the festival want everyone to get to and from safely and easily. Little considerations like this make these experience that much better. After all, we are there to listen to music, not wait in traffic and lines. Oh, and there is never a wait for the bathroom, a festival after my own heart. The event is two days and highlights artists of all genres. The lineup was incredible, per usual. I am going to talk about a few of my favs from the show. I loved seeing DeadMau5 again but am not going to go in depth about his performance this time around.


I have a MAJOR girl crush. The lead singer of Chvurches, Lauren Mayberry emits a strikingly beautiful stage presence. She is a small little thing with pipes for days. Lauren had a beautiful tutu like dress on and rhinestones glued to her face, pure fairy. Somehow, she mad it looks very adult. Just look at her. (I didn't take these pics, FYI, too hard with the fake smoke). 


Every song Chvrches played was pure energy. I am going to list my favs. 

Never Ending Circles - Picture this song live. There is such amazing contrast between chorus/verse which makes you want to dance like no one is watching. Or, like everyone is. 

Throw me
No more bones and I will tell you no lies
This time
At least I am not so cold
You give me everything I never deserved
This time
You know I’ll leave

Like I said before, it's quite incredible the amount of power that comes out of her. The lyrics above really get me. "Throw me no more bones, and I will tell you no lies." To me this screams, let's just be honest here. I am a strong woman and don't need to be placated. I of course, love this. 

Leave A Trace  - This song has some 90's rock elements to it (think Natalie Imbruglia) except it's still incredibly modern. The second verse of this song includes my favorite lyrics. 

I have somehow got
Away with everything
Anything you ever did was strictly by design
But you got it wrong
And I’ll go anywhere but there

These are some POWERFUL words. Have you ever met someone who seems to be acting all of the time OR after the fact you realize that all of their actions were to create a facade of who they wish they really were? Trust me, go anywhere but there. 

High Enough to Carry You Over - See on Spotify 

Another bandmate sings this song. It was so cool to see Lauren give up the mic for her male bandmate. Two amazing singers, one band. Chvurches is from Glasglow, Scotland and I highly recommend you listen to all of their songs and definetly see them live if you get the chance. 


This act was STRANGE PANTS. It was late Sunday night so I almost skipped it but was highly glad I didn't. Panda Bear is an experimental artist that is a member of the band Animal Collective. He has been around for quite some team, releasing his first solo album in 1999. He uses a synth filter and sings?!?!?!?!? while he DJ's. I put a bunch of question and explanation marks at the end of that last sentence because I really don't know what he is doing. I felt like I was apart of a tribe and should have known the chant, especial on the song "Boys Latin." So, I listened to this song before seeing Panda Bear and really thought NOTHING of it. When he played it live, I heard the song completely differently. Take a listen. 

The video will give you a little insight into the visuals. Trust me, they got way more weird as the show went on. At one point he had a video of three women dresses in latex and glitter, throwing up. Yes, throwing up. It was bizzaro, creepy, weird, but ohhhhhh so refreshing. I am a fan and will be bringing anyone who will come with me to his next show. Hands down the biggest surprise of the whole festival. The DJ I thought I had no interest in, I didn't want to end. 


This group consists of Phantomgram and Big Boi from Outkast. They were shockingly great. "Lights On," was a song that stuck with me. It's deep, dark and hauntingly beautiful. Please read all the lyrics here, but below are some of my favorite lines. 

When the bars say stop, when the bars all start to close
And it gets dark outside and I can’t find my way home
I hope you keep your lights on for me
I hope you keep your lights on for me
I hope you keep your lights on for me
I hope you keep your lights on for me

Oh to stumble out of the bar wishing that the person you want to be with would call....


Here is a few pics of me and my friends at the festy. I am so thankful to be surrounded by such an eclectic group of people who have a strong passion for music and the arts. I met new friends and became closer with old. Couldn't have asked for a better musical experience. Something about the island is truly magical. Thank you for listening. 

  Treasure Island Music Festival

Treasure Island Music Festival

  Treasure Island Music Festival

Treasure Island Music Festival

With You

Oh honey, why do you show up in my head?

You were supposed to be unrecognizable by now 

It's been some time since I have seen your face

It wouldn't be familiar anyhow 


If feels impossible that this could be true 

The kind person I loved, it seems he flew

My hopes, they were higher, we felt brighter 

Confusion still lingers around me now 

And why I can't grasp this loss completely

Is because I have you built up inside me

So connected and bound, like a flash it's gone 

How does this break not feel so wrong? 


Your smile, was it real? 

Your convictions, I could feel.

And you probably don't know how this has changed me now

Some days I am crawling, but mostly split in two

Cause half of me was always with you


As you dance around as you usually do 

I hope you remember that I was true 

In awe I would stand, so proud to be 

Cause half of you was always with me

"They curate, they consume and they create. And that's what makes them influencers...."

First off, I can NOT take credit for this title. I am merely speaking on an incredible article I read in AdWeek today entitled, "Millennials Aren't Who You Think They Are." As a millennial, I am SO SICK of hearing about what I am, what I like, how I feel, and how I consume. This article beautifully explains how I have been feeling for the past few years.

The Millennial Mirage” in New York last week, Blunden said research suggests a high ratio of those in the 18-35 age range aren’t the lazy, narcissistic, entitled, apathetic parental leeches they’re often described as. Rather they’re often active, interested and entrepreneurial.

Of course, many of us are lazy narcs, I have seen it first hand (selfie culture is JUST the beginning), but not all of us are. My circle of friends and co-workers want to make stuff, go places, and help people. We aren't entitled but rather confident. We aren't afraid to ask questions and question what we were taught. I know many parental leeches, but I also know many parents who just want their kids to do well. They reward hard work and know that in this day and age it's a lot harder to get ahead. For many parents, it's the MOST rewarding thing in the world to help their "child" progress as long as they are already doing things in their life that will positively impact their future. Remember, "help" comes in many forms from money to advice or simply, positive reinforcement. 

 We aren't entitled but rather confident. We aren't afraid to ask questions and question what we were taught.

We aren't entitled but rather confident. We aren't afraid to ask questions and question what we were taught.

Blunden calls this subset “Gen-Narrators”—a cohort of influencers who both are sophisticated media consumers whose reach is coveted by not only media companies but also brands.

"Gen-Narrators," OBSESSED! Let me try to give a good examples of this. You have that friend that you go to for all things music right? The friend that always posts the latest info on your favorite band/DJ reuniting, a new song, or show that's coming to town? That person is curating content they are interested in and you go to them for that information. They are their own music publication of sorts. The whole reason I started this blog was because I was curating other peoples content that helped me get through a hard time in my life. I didn't even realize I was doing this until I received numerous messages for people thanking me for posting certain articles on self help, discovery and healing. I mentioned this in my first blog post here. We are all publishers whether we create our own content or not. We are ALL influencers. And we consume in a sophisticated manner. 

They curate, they consume and they create. And that’s what makes them influencers,” Blunden said. “They don’t just take on broad information, they DJ with it. They remix it and send it out.

I am literally remixing an article I just read and sending it out....right now. A content DJ of sorts. I am telling you MY take on what Mr. Blunden is saying. It's truly incredible. This new generation of curators and consumers reminds me a little bit of the music industry - when it was turing Indi. Artists can now take control. They release their music into the world via music sharing sites like Soundcloud and if people like it, they listen to it and share it, making it popular without major music labels. We are doing the same thing with content. Sites like Elephant Journal are a perfect example of this. Normal people, just like you and me, writing about their experiences. Of course, they are wonderful writers but they aren't backed by some major publication or news source. They are simply telling their story, the way they want it to be told, without question. 

Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you AdWeek, Economist and Nick Blunden for this article. You made my day.

Thank you for listening. 



Emit your frequency...

I read a quote today and it struck a major chord with me. 

“Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.”
- Barbara Marciniak

 Image courtesy of:

Image courtesy of:

As an empath, I absorb many energies on a daily basis which can leave me feeling exhausted or emotionally drained. It makes sense that I feel strongest when I am emitting my energy on others. Of course, this energy must be positive, not negative. This usually happens when I am presenting something at work, showing someone a song I love, telling a story, or entertaining at a party - things I think I am good at....comfortable with. These are own-able moments where I feel tall. But what about the other moments? 

This quote made me think about my own self confidence. I consider myself strong, but it's not that hard to break me down with an emotional trigger. This is something I am personally working on within myself in order to become a person who is less "triggerable." What is an example of an emotional trigger for me? The action of leaving during a heated argument or conversation is a pretty big one. The "get up and walk away" is tough on me. It makes me feel hopeless. This is something I have dealt with for a large part of my life. I have tried to understand that not everything can be fixed or resolved in that moment, but that time and space might be what is needed for things to get resolved.

I am one who always wants to fix the problem right then and there, so waiting feels like a lifetime. What might feel like a few minutes to one person feels like days for me. Panic sets in. I have never understood why the person who wants to fix the problem right then and there (me) has to be the one to give in to the person who needs "time." I still can't figure it out. If I have to suffer you leaving, why can't you suffer by staying and working to fix the issue? It seems the one leaving always has the power. 

Off track....

"Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequencies..." Everyone knows someone who handles themselves very well in combative, stressful or high pressure situations. This person is emitting their own frequencies, almost as a shield. They are protecting themselves and often times those around them. What about the person that walks in a room and everyone notices or feels their presence? This person radiates confidence. They may be disliked for this, but it doesn't matter to them because they are secure with what they are projecting. They believe in what they are selling. an invaluable gift. What are you selling? What is your intent? Imprint it. 

I am working on emitting my own positive frequencies into the world, while fielding off surrounding elements that might not be good for me in my current stage of healing. Working on it. My intent is to be a more understanding person. Understanding of things good and bad, but none the less, understanding. I am working on patience. Patience with myself and with others, as there are moments of impatience that can often times consume me. I am continuing to respect love, even when it feels impractical. And I am practicing respecting myself in creating boundaries so that I can better emit my frequencies into the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.

Thank you for listening.